If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
