i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you traded sex for a burrito?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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