:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
