i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
