id be glad to
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
