I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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