these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
