This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
