i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
