he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
