I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
