on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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