I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sobbing to NWA
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
