Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
