Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
