why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
