K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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