ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
