I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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