I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
