12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
