I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
