So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
