I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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