Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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