I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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