I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
