I'm passing your future prison.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
