Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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