the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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