this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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