I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
