So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
