Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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