we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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