I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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