i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
