I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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