woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
