But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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