I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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