their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love you. Go after that dick
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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