You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
