i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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