I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
