its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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