you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
