Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
