glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
