Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Randomize
