My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
