She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
