I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize