whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
