If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
