found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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