ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize