did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
