im drinking this country out of the recession.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm passing your future prison.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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